Im nin’alu daltei n’divim daltei marom lo nin’alu
“Even if the gates of the rich will be closed, the gates of heaven will never be closed.” This is the proverb that I could always relate to in times like these. I went to sleep last night soon after I got home from work. I slept all the way through to the evening, and then I woke up for about an hour and went back to bed again. Now, usually this is a sign that something is troubling me, and that the best way to avoid confronting that certain something - is to go to sleep.
Well yes, my life is troubling me at the moment. I feel as if I am stuck in a period where everything bad is emphasized by some strange law of nature. Everything that might be bad seems horrible to me, I exaggerate and I wish I could avoid all the stress. Or at least learn how to control it.
But then again, there is that proverb above which states that even if people around you fail to open up chances for you, you will still have a place in heaven. Well, yes…I count on that.
A couple of days ago, I saw a movie “The invention of lying”. That was an interesting movie about humanity, the world in which no lie exists. That is to say, people have not yet developed the ability to tell lies. And then, one man learns how to do it, and then manipulates the whole world with ease. The moment when his mother is dying, he sees her being scared of going into ‘the sea of nothingness’, as she puts it, and then he decides to tell her that she will not end up in nothingness, but rather in a cosy place, where everyone who she ever loved will be there waiting for her. Well, a beautiful lie, indeed.
And yes. Right now I am at my desk, writing this whole thing. I feel as if I am piling up many things that bother me at this time, and I feel as if I will be doing a lot of sleeping over the next few days…
